Why did the chicken cross the road?

DR. PHIL: "The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems."


OPRAH: "Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad? So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens."


GEORGE W. BUSH: "We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here."



COLIN POWELL: "Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road..."




ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: "We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road."



JOHN KERRY: "Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it."



NANCY GRACE: "That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks."




PAT BUCHANAN: "To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American."




MARTHA STEWART: "No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information."


DR SEUSS: "Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told."



ERNEST HEMINGWAY: "To die in the rain. Alone."





JERRY FALWELL: "Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the ' other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side '. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that."

GRANDPA: "In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough."




BARBARA WALTERS: "Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road."


JOHN LENNON: "Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace."




ARISTOTLE: "It is the nature of chickens to cross the road."





BILL GATES: "I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% ........ reboot."


ALBERT EINSTEIN: "Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken."




BILL CLINTON: "I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken."




AL GORE: "I invented the chicken!"






COLONEL SANDERS: "Did I miss one?"





DICK CHENEY: "Where's my gun?"

You've got to watch this! Turn up your speakers!

Funding For Froggies...

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. "Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed. Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"

(You're gonna love this)

(A masterpiece)

(Here it comes)

The bank manager looks back at her and says...........

"It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

Mark your calendars, folks!

This year, both Groundhog Day and the State of the Union Address fall on the same day.

As Air America Radio pointed out:

"It is an ironic juxtaposition: one involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to a creature of little intelligence for prognostication, and the other involves a Groundhog."

Maybe Bush won't come out.

Ma Komatia

This is Acheron and his god-daughter, Marissa. From the Dark-Hunter novel, Night Embrace. It s the scene where Amanda is frantic because Marissa is missing, until she sees Acheron sleeping on the couch, holding Marissa.



Sherrilyn is the proud owner of this piece. She has it hanging in her office! Squeeee! LOL! She was nice enough to sign a print of the drawing along with my Dark-Hunter's Companion.

Dark-Hunter Zarek

This is the Dark-Hunter, Zarek, from Sherrilyn Kenyon's book, 'Dance With The Devil.' I used Andrei Andrei as my model. He has a lot of the same features that Sherrilyn describes as Zarek.

Hello

Just a quick hello post. Will post more later.